The Power of Fear

I spent most of my life avoiding painting because I had a fear of drawing.  That fear caused me to waste a lot of time that could have been spent enjoying what I was yearning to do.  Why do we give in to our "fear voice?"  Why did I?  Although I've been painting now for a while, I avoided drawing at all costs.  I would use tracing paper, projector, light box - you name it.  All to avoid drawing.  Joe Alleman has helped me to see shapes and trust that I could draw shapes.  You see it isn't drawing a tree, a barn or a person but the shapes that all come together to make up what we think we see.  Carl Purcell also is a master who helped me see things as shapes and values.

The assignments I was given in the portrait drawing class I'm taking was to copy the shapes and values we saw of various Hollywood stars.  If I watched more movies I'd know all their names but that's another story.  The first drawing I was so insecure that I make a copy of it and did the assignment on the copy as insurance against messing up so much that I'd ruin the original.  When that drawing came together I threw caution to the wind and did the other assignments directly on the "master."    I ignored my "fear voice" (oh yes it was still shouting inside my head) and just drew.

Now I have to figure out how not to be too hard on myself for avoiding drawing all these years.  I've come to realize that mistakes are a part of the learning process and it's okay if I screw up.  WOW is that freeing.

Today's drawings.  Yes, I realize that I need to get more values down.  Yes I realize that I am new to sketching and don't have the crosshatching part down yet.  Yes, they are not perfect and that's OK!!

Today's Portrait in Progress

I started this painting in a live model session last Monday at the Art Center in Logan.  The model gave me permission to photograph her so today I did a little more work from the photo.  Monday I'll paint some more directly from the model.  The subtleties of color, temperature and value only show up when you paint directly from something live rather than from a photo.  This painting is 12x16, linen on board and I'm doing it in oils.

Sketching is also fun and very relaxing.  Here's today's sketch.

Trying Something New

I arose early to join a group for what I thought was drawing or painting from a live model.  It turned out to be a group of sculptorss with a live, male model.   Gene Needham, owner of the Art Center, asked if I'd like to try my hand at sculpting.  So, I bought some clay, watched him quickly demonstrate how to build an armature and I went to it.  By the time I started there was only an hour left of the session so I just dove in.  Fun, fun, fun.  I have a long way to go but I had fun with the beginning part. What do you think?

Don't wait - Do it NOW

I have always wanted to learn how to draw but I was afraid I couldn't do it so I didn't.  The same for painting.  I was always envious of those who had artistic talent and never felt I did.  It was my fears that kept me yearning instead of doing.  My first art classes were given by an artist who painted abstractly with very big brushes.  The benefit was I didn't have to know how to draw.  Abstracts were great.  I would just hint at what the subject was and get away with it but inside I've always wanted to learn how to draw.  Finally I'm taking a drawing class and yes, I've started with a portrait class and surprising myself that I'm capturing the likeness.  My advice is don't wait to do whatever it is you've been yearning to do.  Do it NOW.  Be willing to make mistakes - that's part of the process of learning and really it's no biggie.  I should know - I've made plenty of them myself.

Art Marathon

Today felt like an art marathon having spent the morning painting and getting my art supplies together for the two classes I took this afternoon and evening.   Today was the first day of a portrait class with Doc Christensen.  Doc did a demonstration drawing of Angelina Jolie and then we were each given photos of other actors to draw from.  I chose Kenau Reeves since I have little experience drawing men.  We had about an hour to do our drawings.  I am really excited about this class and kicking myself for not having started drawing and painting earlier in my life.  I was with Doc from 2-5pm and Joe Alleman from 6-9pm.  Time just flew by although next time I'll have to remember to bring something to eat for dinner.

Stretch Marks

Yesterday I attended a live model session and brought my oil paints with me.  Once again I felt pretty intimidated by the quality work that the professional artist around me were doing and vowed to work even harder at becoming a better artist.  I want to stretch myself.  As many new mothers have discovered once you are stretched you never quite go back to the same place.  I know that what it will take to become a better artist is to become better in drawing.  Not having taken any formal drawing classes before, I've signed up for a portrait drawing/painting class that begins tomorrow.  The approach I took in the past to learn to draw was initially I would blow up photos and then trace over them.  With each drawing, I would trace less and less lines telling myself that I was imprinting on my brain the experience of drawing well.  I have reached the point where I don't trace anymore so something in this process must have worked.

Today to practice, I took one of the photos of yesterday's model, clipped it to my 18"x24" sketch book and have spent the morning sketching.  I can see that I'm approaching the values (darks and lights) pretty timidly and need to build my confidence and just do it.  Many artists won't try to paint portraits so I give myself a pat on the back for attempting this and fortunately my experience with Mike Malm last May has given me the confidence to do this.  You, my friends and family, are welcome to journey along with me.  You will get to see the good, the bad and the ugly and hopefully like in pregnancy, the journey and the resulting stretch marks will be worth it.  This sketch isn't done but I thought I'd post it while I still had the nerve to share it with you.

Finding Your Own Style

Girl with Scarf

watercolor 14x11

There are some artists that you can tell who painted something just by looking at it even before you see the signature.  There are times I think I have found my style then all of a sudden something totally different comes out from the end of my brush.  I know this painting was influenced by the work of Ted Nuttall whose workshop I took but it also felt very natural when I painted it. One problem though, it doesn't look like the photo I worked from.      It is almost as if some force took over.  I wonder if other artists have this happen to them.